To Sam:
hey dude, my condolences to u...
but yeah, im sure u'll get over it, well perhaps much better den me though.
haha.
well, its hard when u've tasted heaven and fall down to hell aft it.
so i guess, mayb it was better for u this way.

Advice 1: Purpose
so one thing i've learnt from e others is tat, u hav to know wat ur purpose in the r/s is.
n frm my past experiences, i nvr really knew wat my purpose was when i wanted to enter one.
was it to feel 'whole' in e flesh?
so that u'll not b lonely?
tat could have been wat i was thinking, though those were long way back...

n yeah, when i found mine, my purpose, i muz say tat i somehow failed to do my part...
to secure her spiritual health...
tats one thing i regret.


Advice 2: Patience
"Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord."
1 Cor 11:11
I'm sure someday He'll grant u ur better half.
so b patient and wait.
I've found mine without even looking for it.
He granted it to me when i was thinking, 'Im gonna kiss dating goodbye'.
its really hard to find someone who loves u jus as much as u love her too.
So jus wait for His time.
im waiting too...

Yep,
thats all e encouragement i can give...
e rest, u jus hav to find it out on ur own.


but i must say too,
nvr give up...
even if its hard...


well, for me, aft readin much of 1John today,
i felt really bad...
it speaks to both me n her...

"8Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth.
9He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now."
1John 2: 8 - 9

"20If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?"
1John 4: 20

this... speaks to me, directly.
before i met her, i nvr really loved my family.
or even tried to.
although i knew about it, i nvr really worked for it.
until i saw how loving her family was.
tat really encouraged me alot.
and i muz say, i was very much successful with her encouragement.
but now that shes not here,
am i returning to my old ways?
even as im writing this,
im pretty sure i shouted at my parents jus now.
am i still hating some members of my family?
if so, im still in darkness...
im a liar too...
i love not God...
God forbid.

n it hurts to rebuke in love too...

I remembered 1 thing my Brader asked me...
"If u had a chance, would u rather have not loved, than to love?"
Immediately,
tears flowed down my face.
n nope Brader,
it wasnt a stupid question.
It's just tat i didnt noe how to answer u.
but now i noe how to.

n yeah, im still thankful for e encouragement i received that helped me even til this day.
i was really changed.
spiritual walk revived and strengthened.
i could not hav overcame it w/o her.
i wanted to become stronger to better take care of her.
but now, she says im too fervent for her.
was it all for naught?
i dun think so.
i gotta live out my promise, to be stronger.
n promises are not meant to b broken.

n yeah, i believe i could nvr find another as caring n thoughtful as her who was willing to sacrifice herself for my sake.
tats wat agape love is all about.


so Sam,
dun give up on love,
me neither.
wait for His time,
be patient,
and sort out all infirmities in e meanwhile.
nvr stop trusting in the changing power of the Lord.
May the Lord be with u n comfort u