Wednesday, 25 November 2009
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
UnInitialize
Just realized...
just how often do i pray for my 'enemies'?
almost... never.
guess i shd start asap.
just how often do i pray for my 'enemies'?
almost... never.
guess i shd start asap.
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
401
crap, FB's down for me.
oh wells, tat jus means less idling n wasting time there.
gd enough.
2 more days. GREAT!!!
n im kinda sick of Mac, of subway, of Cant A.
wat else shd i eat. zzz.
Hunnngry...
oh wells, tat jus means less idling n wasting time there.
gd enough.
2 more days. GREAT!!!
n im kinda sick of Mac, of subway, of Cant A.
wat else shd i eat. zzz.
Hunnngry...
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Saturday, 14 November 2009
tainted.
time after time after time, i've failed over n over.
as flashbacks swarm me, so does my thoughts n regrets and guilt.
if only i could undo those wrongs i've committed.
life for me would b lighter den air.
as i write this out with a heavy heart, i trudge along forward with a suitcase full of bad times.
it is my extra baggage. my sins. my fears.
i cant look backwards.
it pains, it saddens me much that i wished sometimes i could lock them away somewhere.
or better yet, may God grant me amnesia.
but i know that i can never be the same person i knew a yr ago.
life rushes on.
we encounter new experiences that make us and shape us; Our future.
the old is replaced with each new commodity that breaks into our environment.
it permeates our protective membrane and forces those miniscule changes in us.
many a times i've tried to fight them away but i've failed.
it's like a wave that rushes all over me, sweeping me along in its current,
changing our intended course of direction.
life is just that random and cruel.
and life never stops for you to catch a breather.
it bombards you with everything that it has.
trying to wear you down.
ok, fine. that's just the negative side.
to be fair,
life does give a fair bit of thrills and spills of pure bliss
although the frequency stays low.
but such things have been looking less and less colourful as days pass.
soon i fear, i'll turn blind to colour.
in fact im already steadily and surely attaining it.
this, is what i analyse.
this, is what i foresee.
and this, is what i don't want it to be.
but it is...
as flashbacks swarm me, so does my thoughts n regrets and guilt.
if only i could undo those wrongs i've committed.
life for me would b lighter den air.
as i write this out with a heavy heart, i trudge along forward with a suitcase full of bad times.
it is my extra baggage. my sins. my fears.
i cant look backwards.
it pains, it saddens me much that i wished sometimes i could lock them away somewhere.
or better yet, may God grant me amnesia.
but i know that i can never be the same person i knew a yr ago.
life rushes on.
we encounter new experiences that make us and shape us; Our future.
the old is replaced with each new commodity that breaks into our environment.
it permeates our protective membrane and forces those miniscule changes in us.
many a times i've tried to fight them away but i've failed.
it's like a wave that rushes all over me, sweeping me along in its current,
changing our intended course of direction.
life is just that random and cruel.
and life never stops for you to catch a breather.
it bombards you with everything that it has.
trying to wear you down.
ok, fine. that's just the negative side.
to be fair,
life does give a fair bit of thrills and spills of pure bliss
although the frequency stays low.
but such things have been looking less and less colourful as days pass.
soon i fear, i'll turn blind to colour.
in fact im already steadily and surely attaining it.
this, is what i analyse.
this, is what i foresee.
and this, is what i don't want it to be.
but it is...
Crunch
To all who felt tat Friday the 13/11/09 was a bad day:
Cheer up!
Though life's bitter,
Eat more bittergourd.
Fight fire with fire!!!
Cheer up!
Though life's bitter,
Eat more bittergourd.
Fight fire with fire!!!
Friday, 13 November 2009
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
URGHHH...
how come i always feel SOOOO irritated with myself every tues n fri nites!
i jus cant do things well!
i fumble up like always!!!
i go blank.
i make mistakes.
n more mistakes.
old bad habits still not conquered.
n everything jus seems sooooo wrong.
urgh.
wat else am i missing.
wat else can i do to rectify these.
im so darn tired of it.
stupid old mistakes jus keep coming back.
even if i give my all, it's still not enough!
it feels so painful tat i feel like giving up.
im just not gd enough.
i muz admit, my expectations of myself are high.
i wanna see some change.
i dun wanna be stagnant.
i wanna grow too.
conquer myself n my weaknesses.
but it jus aint happening!
pissed. PISSED.
my smile jus turned upside down.
*edit*
i will.. I WILL CONQUER THIS PEAK! ROARS!!!!!
how come i always feel SOOOO irritated with myself every tues n fri nites!
i jus cant do things well!
i fumble up like always!!!
i go blank.
i make mistakes.
n more mistakes.
old bad habits still not conquered.
n everything jus seems sooooo wrong.
urgh.
wat else am i missing.
wat else can i do to rectify these.
im so darn tired of it.
stupid old mistakes jus keep coming back.
even if i give my all, it's still not enough!
it feels so painful tat i feel like giving up.
im just not gd enough.
i muz admit, my expectations of myself are high.
i wanna see some change.
i dun wanna be stagnant.
i wanna grow too.
conquer myself n my weaknesses.
but it jus aint happening!
pissed. PISSED.
my smile jus turned upside down.
*edit*
i will.. I WILL CONQUER THIS PEAK! ROARS!!!!!
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
the Definition
What made me happy this morn:
1) the calmness of the morn
2) e usual weird antics of ShoeBox
3) some partially irritating coursemate to currently mug with
4) getting 28/30 for an algo test. (like finally aft failing all others)
5) confirmation of internship
6) did my calls and was shown hospitality by some agents (except one who muttered a 'nabei' as he ended the call)
guess these are all settled. wats left is e comp and exams.
so what made u happy this morn?
1) the calmness of the morn
2) e usual weird antics of ShoeBox
3) some partially irritating coursemate to currently mug with
4) getting 28/30 for an algo test. (like finally aft failing all others)
5) confirmation of internship
6) did my calls and was shown hospitality by some agents (except one who muttered a 'nabei' as he ended the call)
guess these are all settled. wats left is e comp and exams.
so what made u happy this morn?
Monday, 9 November 2009
Outsourcing
BAH!
not jus low but devoid of both intrinsic n extrinsic motivation.
had to drag my @$$ all e way to sch early early in e wee hrs of e morn to force myself to study.
it takes extreme measures to get some input into my head, for better output in 10 days' time.
i,
i'm gonna sleep in sch.
not jus low but devoid of both intrinsic n extrinsic motivation.
had to drag my @$$ all e way to sch early early in e wee hrs of e morn to force myself to study.
it takes extreme measures to get some input into my head, for better output in 10 days' time.
i,
i'm gonna sleep in sch.
Sunday, 1 November 2009
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