and i got wind of my verdict...
for that stupid mistake.
crappp

argh.
quarelled with my sis today.
angry.
went to camp to sleep instead.
end.

this ain't a scene, its a TRAGEDY

i had e scariest nightmare every in my entire lifetime.
all summarised 2 nights ago.

n y e scariest?
coz i had bout 6 of e worst case scenarios happening to me all combined in e same dream.

1) bike stopped at traffc light. bro called for 'me' to hurry home. pedestrian went forth to "disturb" 'me' to get revenge.(?)

2)'me' got off bike. chased after pedestrian. ran many blocks. forgot bout bike. bike was clamped. went to see TP. had to wait til 1159 for them to process e papers.
took their time to decorate e paper. handed to 'me' a tad later.

3) reached home void deck. saw ypf members sitting in a circle eating packed lunch. ignored 'me' somehow.

4) some1's funeral. (my grandma's??? hope not)

5) saw her with another guy. 'nuff said.

6) handed 'me' back a pair of rings. i assume its 'our' "attachment rings"(or wateva u call them). took my right hand n placed 1 thru 'my' middle finger.(shdnt it b my left hand?)


it left me stunned after i awoke.
i was jus devoid of emotions, feelings, energy, yada yada.
somehow i wasnt really scared or wat.
jus sorta brain dead.
tats wierd.







ahh wateva.
its jus a dream...
or was it?










being called back to hq on mon to draw stuff.
y me?
i suck at drawing.
argh.

i feel weird today...
totally off course.
n im not so sure y...
i feel lotsa diff emotions welling up inside of me...
im confused.
confused by myself.
i dunno wat i want.
i dunno wat im thinking.
i jus feel weird...
i think i really am going crazy...
well, iits a sooner or later matter by itself.
even if it doesnt come now,
itll creep in into my mind sometime.
in fact its already in my genes.
my family's mad.
not as in my immediate or wat but yeah,
they really are kinda crazy.
and its tat potent mixture of crazy type of crazy.
totally venomous.
am i like tat already?
hmm i wonder...

i guess i need to see a doc.
there's my brain, my heart n my body to b examined.
3 things.
seems a little troublesome dont u think?
y not jus let me absorb e blow of a full fledged accident to my head when i fly off my bike.
will tat solve everything?
i hope so...

im beginning to hate myself more n more.'
well, not only this guy.
but also almost every1 else.
yeah im crazy...
hate them for any reason.
hate them for no reason.
hate them for e wrong reason.
n i dunno y.

yeah, ive become a hater myself.
a threat to e world.
ppl shd jus annihilate me...

dear God,
where's my loud music n punching bag...?