currently listening to_: Ayaka - I Believe

wah...
i was pretty shocked today.
really very shocking.
1 wrong move n its a BYEBYE for me...

k wait b4 tat,
flashback to tues:
took my prac stage 3.02,
emergency braking.
first few times were like.
oh my
total disaster.
it was only til at e last 30 mins of e lesson,
tat things took a change
i finally grasped e correct technique.
b4 tat i was like fumbling n fumblin all over
n YEAH!!!
i passed it with 1 try!!!
n i tell u,
it was really unexpected!
i was actu thinkin tat i wld fail badly!
but e Lord gave me grace!
phew!!!
coz normally, they wld b askin for consistency.
n like i was only consistant for e last 30 mins!!!
out of 1hr 40mins!
so ya,
PRAISE e LORD!!!

ok next,
fast forward to thur at 8pm.
my riding theory test!!!
yup e actual 1,
not e trial or evaluation or wateva.
its e one n original Traffic Police theory test!
e rules were simple,
get at least 90% correct out of 50 ques.
N
not b late!
but oh well.
tat nite was total chaos for me!
waited at e bus stop at 730 since e journey took bout 10 mins to get there
i waited
n waited
n waited...
was super uneasy already
waited til 750 n finally e bus came!!!
BUT!!!
jus b4 i wanted to board e bus,
I DID NOT BRING MY EZLINK CARD!!!!
WAH!!!
NOT EVEN MY WALLET!!!
N I FELT LIKE DOING LOCI(pronounced as lou-sai)!!!

so i ran back all e way home!!!
grabbed my wallet n ezlink card
n rushed back to e bus stop.
n guess wat,
another bus came!!!
urgh.
fortunately i did not take tat bus,
i took a taxi instead.
BUT
i was LATE!!!
reached at 805!!!
i was super freaked out i tell u.
n there they said on e notice board:
latecomers will b barred frm takin e test!
n so with tat notion in mind,
i hurried to e classroom n PHEW!!!
tat guy let me in!!!
but now e prob is tat i had e urge to, u know, defecate.
but time was sparse,
thus i jus continued e test.
at e end of it,
i had a total of 6 ques which i didnt really noe whether my ans was right or wrong.
n like, i could only allow to fail 5!
yep,
but wat e heck,
i jus didnt really care n inputed my results!!!
IT WAS A .....

*drumroll*


PASS!!!!

woohoo!
i was super glad man!
but tat wasnt all,
aft e toilet business i went to take a bus.
n i only had like 37cents left in my card!
if i had taken e bus earlier,
i would hav enough cash to take e trip back!

n i really praise GOD for this messy n complex situation tat i had diff typing it all out like some drama.
hahaha!
helped me to trust HIM even more.

wait!
theres 1 more!!!
this morn.
prac 4.01.
S-course n crank course.
basically its to test u in ur turning skills at high speed at a narrow lane somemore!
at e start i was like riding super slowly n carefully.
but still, within only 30 mins of practisin,
i had fallen off e bike or went up e kerb for more den 5 times!!!
really a problematic situation!
n ya,
heres e shocking part.
e instructor took my bike n i pillioned him.
we went thru e S-course.
n like,
it was really really frightening!
he entered e bend at such a high speed tat i was really expecting an accident!
totally traumatic!
aft i got off e bike i was like in shock for a few seconds.
i didnt move at all.
but really,
aft tat demonstration,
i finally improved.
how?
by going much faster n banking more to e side!
its was e ultimate scare ride ive ever taken!
den once again,
i only improved durin e last 30 mins,
n PRAISE e LORD once again!
i did everything perfectly!
n i really mean all e small details!
n yeah,
ive passed it with 1 try again!!!

if u think it sounds easy,
it aint.
especially e higher u go,
e harder it is to pass!
n im really glad tat i didnt hav to waste money by failing!
each lesson is $20!!!
really very EX!!!

these were e most memorable events tat happened this week.
n ya,
each one confirmed had some divine intervention in it.
i could nvr pull such a stunt!

HOW MATCHLESS N BOUNDLESS IS E MERCY N GRACE OF E LORD!!!!!
=]

e time when it all started

currently listening to_: PANIC! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies

yep
Christmas is finally over...
n i din get to enjoy it as much as poss...
all i did was jus to stay at home
n sleep
yeah
kinda borin i noe
but e only time i went out was to exchange presents or for my riding.
basically tats e only 2 times i went out these 2 days.
kinda sad huh.
but oh well...
at least i learnt a couple of things this Christmas n i thank God for it.
im feelin a little enlightened here n there but i doubt it'll last me for even a week.
im gonna need some constant reformation ya
n really lotsa encouragement.

am i really v immature???
hmmm...

yup,
wanna praise e Lord for really helpin me to pass my prac lessons 1 after another by His Grace n Mercy.
coz i noe tat i could nvr do it all by myself.
yep its true i dun hav confidence in myself.
but even if i did hav any,
it wouldnt help if God did not allow His Will to be enacted.
yep,
been there n tried it b4.
e moment u think tat u can do it by ur own strength,
even though u tot u could do it well,
n e future seems sure,
without His sovereign Will,
u can even fail miserably.

tats wat He has been tryin to teach me...
frm my lessons...
so wat i hav to do is jus to guai guai listen n follow with child-like faith
as small as a mustard seed.
May e Lord grant me tat...

anw,
i really really regretted 1 thing
tat is
tat i had to go to my aunt's house on Christmas eve nite
when there was a service going on in church
heard tat it was fantastic though
oh my...
n wat i did there couldnt compare...
i only ate dinner,
which wasnt tat marvellous,
n jus whilst my time away watchin The Host,
n parts of Saw n Saw II.

yeah,
oh btw,
Charmian,
if u're readin this,
BIG THANKS for ur chocs!!!
love it lots ya?
although its kinda precious for me to eat them.
haha
gotta admire them b4 i eat.
coz its australian imported!!!
=P

yup,
so wat i gotta do for e rest of e week is to buy more presents!
yea
belated ones...
coz i dun really hav much time to buy them...
n oso to pass my riding theory test this comin thur nite.
im kinda like halfway thru it all
so ya
hope i can faster get thru this.
to get a license to allow me to die faster.
kinda ironic huh?

oh well,
its time for this poor NSF (yup i really mean poor cash-wise)
to finally go back to work.
yep
hope tat i'll find something to do there...
other den more sai kang
haha.
gtg hav some beauty sleep b4 i get more pimples!!
nitez

currently listening to_: Saving Jane - Come Down To Me

"You are beautiful,
jus e way u are.
N i love it all, every line n every scar.
N i wish tat i could make u see,
this is where u ought to be..."

e chorus of this song...
well,
kinda reminded me of a person...
well actu, make it 2.
yup,
guess im glad tat they both get e msg,
though i dun really noe whether they'll really think tat way in their hearts...


a nice n emo song...
jus e way i like it
haha
've been blastin music in my ears for quite some time now...
i guess tml i'll jus go deaf...
miss this kinda feeling...
jus blastin all day long...
i guess its been only 3 to 4 hours only...
but it doesnt matter...

if only i could blast it this loud in e gym last nite while at e punching bag...
woah.
how nice tat'll b...

oh?
y im in e gym last nite?
simple.
coz i stayed over yet again
haha
think i really hav nth to do..
keep staying in...

oh well...
at least ive learnt something frm it...

lesson 1: aggression hurts.

lesson 2: silence is e best ans.

lesson 3: stayin in camp saves money n time spent travelling to n fro when u hav nth to do...

lesson 4: i really need to find time to buy prezzies!!!

lesson 5: when u're tired, u spout nonsense.

lesson 6: when u're sick, try to get an MC asap, b4 ur brain fails u n u become a living zombie

lesson 7: nvr try to outrun an officer, he'll stil catch up in e end.

guess i'll jus stop there...
cant think of anymore...
lalalala


hmmm,
mayb e reason y i love to blast music out loud is coz i can jus filter out other noises...
jus listen to pure music...

i love silence,
i really do.
but wat happens if u cant shut out e noise?
u BLAST!!!!
hahaha!

perhaps i need some 'me' time,
to think bout stuff.
bout my life.
to self reflect on it.
fortunately i took my 1 n only leave for this tues...
yeah!
long weekend!
ahhh...
but my whole fam shd b at home too...
oh well,
theres nth i can do...

oh shucks...
n now my music source jus died down...
no batt at all...
nvm...
shall cont writing this in silence(with some noise from e tv outside)

yep as i was sayin
my precious leave on tues...
hope tat i wun spend e day playin games or watever.
jus lie on e bed to think
n think
n think
n think til e world jus falls apart.
i mean til i hav to go to work again...

hols...
finally its bout time it came.
well u sch children r real fortunate.
at least u guys get sch hols or a week of hols inbetween semesters
really gotta treasure tat ya?
dun ever whilst ur time away like tat
make full use of it...
but for me?
i'll jus sleep e whole day thru
if God permits...
longest ever record of sleepin by me was 23hrs nonstop only...
hope i can break tat record some day...

hmm,
tml theres another prac lesson in e morn.
den aft tat i gotta help my fren to lacquer his bike.
den aft tat if got time go cut hair at woodlands.
den aft tat go for some meeting for some anniversary thingy.
den aft tat is ypf.
den aft tat if got time still, i'll try to find presents to buy for frens(but i doubt so)
den aft tat go sleep.
den next morn go church.
den aft tat i really dunno where to go.
den aft tat go to aunts house to celeb Christmas.
den aft tat i dunno wat i'll b doing again...

somehow,
n seriously,
to me,
it doesnt feel like Christmas anymore...
i dun get to feel tat atmosphere it once brought about.
let alone e New Year...
everyday feels either like a rest day or a working day to me.
i cant tell e diff anymore...
i dun even look forward to it...
i dun even noe wat im thinking.
i guess my brain shd really b scrapped soon,
jus like my bro's bike.
if only i could get a new 1.
jus forget it all n start anew.
to reexperience everything again.
gotta make sure tat this new brain is free from defects so it wouldnt lose any more memories...
N oso with a bigger memory space to store stuff.

my mind now is like a sponge.
not tat it retains well.
but rather, to absorb more water, u hav to squeeze out e water in e sponge to do so.
only den can new info be retained.
like e chi saying,
'jiu de bu qu, xing de bu lai'
describes me quite aptly now...


wanted to jus shout it(frustrations) all out.
but i guess,
u cant shout efficiently with a sore throat n flu n phlegm ya?

besides, ppl like me having a small build cant really get to shout loud...
so mayb i shdnt bother shoutin at all...

sandbag n loud music,
they make a great pair together,
dun u think so too?

currently listening to_: Micheal Buble - Home

oh my.
its been a real long time since i've been back home.
seriously i somehow dun really feel e longing to b back home.
i wonder y...
anw,
last week has been really fruitful for me.
although i was really (x 13) tired,
somehow i found e strength to carry on n listen to e messages in e YPF Camp.
wasnt by my effort but rather by His Grace n Mercy.
can u imagine,
1 big bag to last u for 1 week,
where u tug it along from Mon in Gedong den aftnoon aft 5 go to tengah air base n stay over n e next morn go back to camp n this continues to n fro, to n fro...
i tell u, u'll practically breakdown on e spot.
besides, i had my tkd grading on fri too!
din really hav e time to prac for it.
much less e sleep.


not only tat,
i had my bike prac on sat,
n i failed it yet again!!!
total failed 5 times,
if each time is $23.10,
5 times = (u own self do e maths, i lazy do for u)
anw, think u roughly noe e idea behind it
but really thank God again tat i passed my riding theory evaluation with a whopping 98% pass!!!
(u hav to get min 90% out of 80ques, meaning 72/80)
yupz!
but too bad i wasnt there at home at bout 11.
hey i still cant imagine tat U(charmian) actu came to my house!!!
so paiseh!!!
my house was an entire mess!
seriously!
oh my,
fortunately u din come to my room.
PHEW!!!
wow i rcant imaine if i were at home n u guys came knockin at my door,
i guess i'll still b sleeping if i din go for my riding!
den i'll b wearing my home clothes n shrivelled hair n big eye bags jus saying 'huh?' when u guys come in.
k forget bout those.
lets move on to e next day,
SUNDAY.
o ya by rite i was supposed to meet SF n gang for lunch or somethin but something real bad cropped up.
guard duty was changed frm 29 dec to 17 dec!!!
on a sunday somemore!
means no lunch with them!!!
or even e C' twins n william!
so sad!!!
was a sudden change on thur tat left every1 stunned.
yep,
n e funny thing tat kept me thinking was tat Yumi joked she wanted to come to my camp gate to sing songs n hav a worship service!
haha
how totful of her!
oh well, she obviously didnt though...
yup got bitten by many many mozzies on sun
super duper itchy'
not only tat,
few ppl who were supposed to come tat day did not
n so coz of tat,
we all had to do extra duty to cover up for them!!!
so yup, obviously we din sleep much...
we're jus concussing every now n then.
haha,
i watched tom yum goong n scary movie 3 part 1 during my guard.
funny huh?
other ppl wld b sleeping their ass off(literally)
instead of this.
agree?
ya...
n this morn,
we're supposed to hav guard rest from 8 to 12.
meaning we sleep it thru all e way n no 1,
i mean, no 1 is supposed to touch us at all.
BUT
big boss still asked us to fall in n aft tat sit at e side of e field to support e others in a soccer match.
i mean like, it aint supposed to b this way!
besides, we were told to help out to do sai kang meaning e shifting of tables n chairs!
but obviously we ignored.
come on, we ARE tat tired!
we couldnt even get any uninterrupted rest!

ah well,
but really thank God i made it pass tat week(including today).
yupz,
ive finally finally finally passed my prac!
hahaha
now going on to e next stage,
emergency braking!
yupz
tml!!!
3.01 here i come!!!

no wait, b4 tat...
SLEEP!!!!!!
pure n precious
SLEEP!!!!!

currently listening to_: North - I Won't Hold Back

dead dead tired
n giddy
n headache
and feel like fainting
n other other stuff...

deduction: i think i really havent used my blain for a long time.
resulting in a 'muscle ache' kinda syndrome.
went to e MINDS cafe today n played rather cool board games there.
find it worth e while.
besides,
e lasagne is pretty delicious too!

hmm,
if
my headache was due to tiredness...
den i guess,
by e next week i'll b like super zombified
imagine
sungei gedong
+
tkd back in hq
den aft tat
go to tengah for msg
n perhaps stay in
oh my
i'll jus lie flat n concuss straight away

phew,
almost kana-ed some stupid punishment ytd
jus imagine e punishment being to wear tat stupid U
while booking in n out of camps
ha
i really dun mind

ahhh
1 more week of gedong
can u take it?

yupz n i've failed yet again.
funny lane change prac
argh

kinda funny how i saw a drunk chi man in 40s trying to pick a fight with a tamil/bangla on e bus jus now.
ha
threatened here n there n finally got off e bus,
threw a few punches (which missed for e chi man)
den finally ended with e tamil man grabbin e chi man's collar n scolding him or something.
kinda comical to watch though
too bad they got off e bus too early for me to stop them n hopefully land a few punches
haha
no la
im not so bad
i dun even think i had e energy either.

oh well...
jus had a thought
thinking if i shd jus make this blog private
meaning tat no one
n i mean NO ONE can see it
hmmm
mayb i shd'

or mayb i shd jus close it down
den again
mayb not
i'll still need this to help me vent my anger when im angry
say things tat my tongue cant withhold
yea,
coz mayb i jus dun hav e urge to talk these days.
'keepin my mouth shut from e start'
somehow i jus cant get into e mood to talk.
or rather its hard ba.
people can talk bout everything under e sun
but perhaps for me, i'll jus b e 1 listening
tat silent assasin right beside u
or mayb
u've got e wrong topic to 'click' me with
pehaps its jus kinda hard for me to connect
esp with gals in e east
their feel is kinda different from those in e west
n no
i too cant talk to high class people
i cant even hold a continuous conversation with them.
i jus like to talk with my blog,
i guess its e only time i ever talk alot
dun u think so too?

chances.

currently listening to_: Jesse McCartney - Just Go

ever wondered if u've ever saw a chance coming,
but instead of graspin it,
u had it slip pass ur bare eyes...
under ur very nose.
n u've nvr ever knew it had crossed.
n now it jus gives u a diff feeling when u actu came across it again.
diff from tat e 1st contact u had.
makes u ever wonder again whether u really wanna take up tat chance.


yeah i finally passed my prac lesson ytd!!!
stupid stage 2.01.
grrrr
yeah,
hope i can 1hit k.o. for my next prac tml...

had a somewat fun time ytd nite
aft i came home from my prac.
ate dinner
den later went out again!
haha
for a spin on my bike.
no la,
i cant ride yet,
i dun even hav a license!
jus being pillioned la.

went to some coffeeshop n sit down n got overcharged for iced milo at $1.30!!!
(its jus a normal coffeeshop)
uncle wanna cheat my money!!!
=P

den went back to prac abit on my bike
(this time its illegally)
jus abit of starting n stopping only mah..
perhaps still not used to it?
hee

yupz
supposed to hav another interrogation at SIB
for e 3RD TIME!!!
argh,
hate tat place.
treats u like some criminal.
breaks u down.

but they postponed tat appointment
i wonder y
i wonder y they even need to call me back.
ive already told them all tat i knew.
all e details
from e previous day
to wat i do e next day
everything
n now they jus wanna haunt me again!
grrrr

but coz of tat,
i had an unofficial half day off!
haha
was supposed to go at 1030am
but since they cancelled it,
i jus simply lazed ard at home b4 proceedin to gedong again
yeah
tat crash course.
n
i still dun hav time to prac my tkd pattern!!!
wah!


signing off...

gedong bluez

currently listening to_: The Feeling - Never Be Lonely

hmm,
i failed yet again at my practical...
but somehow i jus dun feel as sad as e 1st time.
but y?
yeah jus sat on my bro's new bike ytd nite at 11+ to pasir panjang to eat prata.
reached home at 1245am this morn.
me?
i ate roti john + milo dino!
but it wasnt as fantastic as e roti john i ate at tekong,
yup, tat offshore island where it all starts...
by shaving ur head!!!

lalalala
kinda feeling bored rite now...
nth to do online
played abit too much FFXII ytd n e day b4.
shdnt play today.
so now i really hav nth to do except to write something in my blog and listen to e tv beside me...

oh ya,
e 2 week 1 day crash course at sungei gedong (lim chu kang area) has officially started on fri!
now im gonna b there sorta for 9/5 (not 24/7)
my oh my.
n i hav another prac tml at 6
jus hope tat i can finally PASS it
grrr.
wasting money already...

not forgetting another grading later in e week on fri mon!
argh, n i havent practised e pattern yet!!!
supposed to go back hq last fri n this tues to learn n prac but,
ahhhhh
hav to teach at gedong n STAY THERE!!!!
hope i still can adapt to e changes made for e basic commands n moves...
yeah,
jus hope tat i can get a black b4 i ORD.
but wats e purpose of a black belt?
i really dunno.
y get a black when a belt level doesnt really matter much?
i really really dunno.

yeah....
jus hope tat e terror 2 weeks will jus pass by fast fast...
im missin some1's smile already...