I still remember the time you said that it would lessen your guilt if i moved on right? I guess now would be the time (if the guilt was ever still there).
I must say, this letter has been rather late in arriving at your doorstep but nevertheless it was needful for this letter no matter what the consequences may befall or the future that beholds us and lies in wait for us.
Truth be told, I have decided to let go. It just ain't fair for the both of us. This creates lesser stress and tension betwixt us two. Holding on has no purpose for me when I can't even be encouraged by it even as I progress on life's journey. There is no hope in it too. In fact, it might even worsen the relationship that we have now. Besides that, I believe it would impact you in ways unmeasurable. Impacts that I might never know of, be it beneficial or detrimental.
It will definitely be difficult for me since it's hard to put down my love for someone who loved me just as much. But for our sakes, it just has to be done. It might take a long while before it might even be complete but that is the direction that God has shown me through the people around me and their testimonies. And yes, God's way is the best way for us right now. Initially I wanted to grow stronger for you. It was to better protect you, for you to better rely on me, for you to trust me more and share your cares and sorrows. Yes, it was all for your sake at that time. I wanted to grow stronger for you and to be more secure. That was why I began to assume more responsibilities, that I may learn from it and grow in the process. But I guess, that should not have been my main driving point. I can't place my hope on
You were never not-good-enough-for-me in my eyes. You taught me many things, many important lessons of love and of life. I still believe that you were more than what I had wanted, no matter what you think. Please do not compare yourself to the others. No matter how good you think they were, I would still have chosen you and you would have already known why. And no, you were never self-centred. All these while I always know and have experienced that you care alot about me, more then yourself. I have never once thought of you as being selfish, but in fact, you gave me more then I could ask for. You will definitely say that I gave much more to this relationship but to me, it was all my reasonable service, it was never classified as 'Sacrifice'. It was my way of saying that I do love you too.
I must really thank you for all those sweet and precious memories of us, together. All those special moments that will never ever leave my sea of memory. All the silent encouragement I received from you all this while. And all those times when you stayed by my side, reassuring me that you were there with me. To know that you were happy with just me by your side. I'm thankful for the times you put me down when I feel egoistic, for the times we chatted 'til nightfall, for all the sorrows and tears that led us together, for the times where I could smell your garlic-breath, for the times you put the phone to Pinklet and expecting it to answer. (The list is inexhaustive and it'll go on forever.) Lastly, I want to thank you for loving me so so so much to sacrifice for me. But I'm glad to have had you. Even though its hard not to think back upon it, to want to go back to those times again, but I must say that I too do cherish them and will keep them close to my heart. It will be tough, it will hurt, alot, it may hurt like there's no tomorrow, to know that your hand is not in mine, that I can't give you that tightly-squeezing hug, and that I can't be by your side anymore, but I guess it's the only way out for us now.
I am pretty happy too that you have been enjoying these times with your family and your newly found friends. It just gives me more conviction and reason to let go since I can't do much more for you anymore. I'm glad to see you happier this way. But I just want to say, please do not forsake God for my sake if it were ever so. And I also do want to apologize for the many spams in your handphone inbox for the past few weeks. Please hate me if it makes you feel better too.
Though our paths may never cross again, I'm glad that we were once happy together. I am contented as well. The future looks bleak for us but I may be wrong. Only God knows what His plan is for us. But never one day, will you be kept from being in my prayers.
I am going to end here with one song to top it off. Its the way I look at you:
What makes you different
You don’t run with the crowd
You go your own way
You don’t play after dark
You light up my day
Got your own kind of style
That sets you apart
Baby that’s why you’ve captured my heart
I know sometimes you feel
Like you don’t fit in
And this world doesn’t know
What you have within
When I look at you
I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere
And there’s no one I know that can compare
Chorus:
What makes you different
Makes you beautiful
What’s there inside you
Shines through to me
In your eyes I see all the love I’ll ever need
What makes you different makes you beautiful to me
You’ve got something so real
You touched me so deep
The material things
Don’t matter to me
So come as you are
You’ve got nothing to prove
You won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you
You don’t know how you’ve touched my life
Oh there’s so many ways, I just can’t describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
It’s all the little things that made you beautiful to me
----------------------------------------------------
Thank you Dearie for all that you've done.
^-^
Love,
Bobo "
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