ponder-rations

sad sad..
on sat i've been called by my boss to be on standby.
coz a fellow PTI whom has already ORDed n signed on had passed away tat morn.
frm wat i heard, he somehow drifted towards his fren's bike when they were riding side by side,
causing his fren on e left side to be thrown towards e bushes while he swerved to e right and was hit by an oncoming van.
think it was an immediate death on e spot.
yeah, tats y on sun i wore black with e intention to be called for activation anytime, even during church in e morn.
in e end i wasnt called(phew?)
but still i made my way down in e evening...
could only see his top half as e bottom was covered by a white cloth...
seemed a little pale there...

n as soon as i knew it, i was arrowed by e higer-ups to be e Emcee for the military funeral this coming wed.
fortunately according to some G1 directives, a Captain is supposed to be e 1 doing.
if me, a puny little CorPoraL were to read e script,
i guess i wld hav a nervous breakdown rite away...
nah, i just dun like to do all these saddening stuff...

oh well, n now coz of him...
whenever i ride i think of him.
i imagine how he skidded n was hit.
i imagine i was e one.
n i cant get it out of my mind.
ever since e 1st skid i had e other day...

it has caused some phobia to thrive within me.
growing slowly n invading me...
i guess, very soon im gonna get e idea of being scared of bikes
how?!
wat can i do...