currently listening to_: The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart

i not sure y im really feelin this way...
but i just feel

disposable.

feels like my presence is not needed
feels like im being taken for granted
feels like IM not really needed at all...

n even on e contrary,
im only needed
when ppl really need help when they hav no one else to turn to.
when they need someone to help them do their chores
when they want someone to do it so tat they can slack off
when they need ppl to fill e gaps


i guess...
i dun hav e heart anymore...
e heart to go out of my way for others.
to help n support others frm behind e scenes
to really give all tat i hav for them.

i cant continue any longer...
yeah
im too tired already.
i dun hav e strength to carry on.
i dun hav e strength to continue believing.
to continue believing in relationships
no strength to believe in my friends
no strength to believe in my family
no strength to believe in my colleagues
i feel weak.



e only thing sustaining me rite now is God.
n i dunno wat else to do.




wanna scream but my mouth is shut